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Henri Nouwen put it this way: "When we honestly ask ourselves which people in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who—instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures—have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness—that is the friend who cares."
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